Giving Up Your Passion In the Name of Balance: A Smart Move? Or a Big Mistake?

By justicefergie
September 12, 2011 • 0 comment(s)
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Stacey aka “Justice Fergie” is a former Communications major, technology attorney, wife to JoeFerg,  and mother of three spunky children, ages 7, 5, and 3. She's also the co-founder of the Be Blogalicious online community for multicultural women bloggers which hosts the yearly Blogalicious Weekend conferences.

Just over 2 years ago, my two co-bloggers and I decided to host a social media conference celebrating diversity.  It was a great idea and really addressed a need in the blogosphere to recognize multicultural women social media enthusiasts and to introduce advertisers to this influential demographic. The conference was an immediate success and I've not looked back ever since!

Well, except maybe to figure out where my sanity went.

You see, I've been a practicing attorney for the past 9 years.  I started blogging five years ago as an outlet to share my challenges and triumphs dealing with balancing work and home.  And now, here I am with a demanding career, three kids under 7 years old, a husband, a house, and a yearly conference to take care of!  I'm getting heart palpitations just thinking of it all.

The moonlighting was fun for a long time.  It gave me something to look forward to; something of my own to build. But lately, it's exhausting me! It means more work after an insanely long day of work. And choosing to work when I could be doing a puzzle with my kids or watching a movie with my hubby.

It breaks my heart to even consider it, but keeping up this pace running me ragged. So, I have to ask: when does it become time to give up on the side gig?

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Jenn's picture

If it's cutting into family time, it's not worth it. Those kids need a momma that isn't running in 20 different directions! I feel like we live in the "gotta have it all" mommy generation, but at what cost? I'd pretty much give anything to be able to spend more time with my kiddos.

Beth's picture

I like creating two lists and I do this a coupletimes a year. For the first list I rank order my life based on what I value and the second is a ranked order of how I spend my time, then I compare. The 2 lists won't ever match up - I spend 10 hours a day at work and am a mom who is in utter love with my son, but I can make adjustments based on what I think is out of balance, or at least determine how to better impact my quality of time spent. And yes, sleep makes it on my list of priorities - because my own health is ranked pretty high.

I hope this helps. The truth is, only you can decide where to cut, amend, change, and control.

Thien-Kim's picture

I definitely empathize. I've been staying up in the wee hours working, often getting less than 4 hours of sleep each night. I've already stepped back from doing my parties a bit. I love my social media work, but it's not making me as much money as I'd like. I know I will get there.

I say take a step back and try to figure out what you can't live without. What would you miss the most?After family, husband, and job (until you can quit) of course. I should follow my own advice!

Eventually we will burn out and breakdown. Good luck and I'm always here to listen.

Anonymous's picture

Give it up. The stress will eventually overwhelm you. I have been working and raising my twins solo since they were 3 1/2. They are now almost 16. I haven't been able to work hardly at all this past year because my nerves are shot from many years of doing more than I could handle. I spend most of my days doing various things from nutrition and exercise and supplements/meditation to try and repair my nerve damage so I can function and work again! Do not overtax yourself or let otheres overtax you for years on end. Pay attention to your body and stress level.